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Certificate: 
Director: David Slade
Release Date: 16 June 2006
Tagline: Strangers shouldn’t talk to little girls.
Main Cast:
Patrick Wilson … Jeff Kohlver
Ellen Page … Hayley Stark
I can suspend disbelief, and I can just about cope with a plot hole (as long as it’s not a major one). But these conditions apply only to otherwise great films. Hard Candy, however, is not a great film.
It’s totally unbelievable and ridiculous. If you couldn’t give a monkey’s toss about realism, then you might enjoy this. It feels like it wants to be intelligent torture porn, but the reality is that it is neither. Having said that though, I felt a bit tortured watching it.
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Certificate: 
Director: Tim Burton
Release Date: 5 March 2010
Tagline: You’re invited to a very important date.
Main Cast:
Johnny Depp … Mad Hatter
Mia Wasikowska … Alice
Helena Bonham Carter … Red Queen
Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are a marriage made in heaven. With Tim Burton you are sure to get a visual delight and a cinematic experience that is unique to him. It would also be rather remiss of me to neglect to mention Danny Elfman, whose talent makes up a fantastic trio.
It’s magical, fantastical, and utterly delightful! I also really enjoyed Helena Bonham Carter’s performance, although it’s rather disconcerting to see her head on a small body!
I never really liked AIW as a child (I didn’t like the Chronicles of Narnia either), so, for me, this was not as enjoyable as Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (I love Roald Dahl). In that respect, I can’t really do a total review as I do not know the books. Perhaps an AIW devotee may not like this.
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Certificate: 
Directors: Pete Docter & Bob Peterson (co-director)
Release Date: 9 October 2009
Main Cast: (Voice)
Ed Asner … Carl Fredricksen
Jordan Nagai … Russell
Christopher Plummer … Charles Muntz
I don’t know how Pixar do it, but they have raised the bar again with this glorious film.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried. Three times, in fact (and twice during the first twenty minutes or so!) Watching Carl’s life unfold is both joyous and heartbreaking. And then, along comes Russell to cheer us all up!
I could write for hours about what makes Up such a work of pure genius, but I won’t. You need to discover it for yourself.
Please, please do not miss this film!
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Certificate: 
Director: Oren Peli
Release Date: 25 November 2009
Tagline: What happens when you sleep?
Main Cast:
Katie Featherston … Katie
Micah Sloat … Micah
I was looking forward to watching this as I love suspense films. I sat there waiting for something happen, and I waited, and waited then there was an ok bit, and then I waited some more and then it ended.
The whole thing is ludicrous and very, very boring. There are so many instances of why didn’t they do this or that (the major one being not turning the lights on) that you just end up getting frustrated at the characters.
Basically, what happens is this:-
Boy follows girl with a camcorder.
We watch them sleep.
Loud noises wake them up, boy runs around with the camcorder.
And so on.
What happens when you sleep? Not much, going by this! If this scares you, then I recommend that you watch Finding Nemo. The ‘mild peril’ element will have you quaking in your boots.
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Director: Ruben Fleischer
Release Date: 7 October 2009
Tagline: This place is so dead.
Main Cast:
Jesse Eisenberg … Columbus
Woody Harrelson … Tallahassee
Emma Stone … Wichita
Abigail Breslin … Little Rock
Zombieland is a very good spoof of zombie films, and sits quite happily alongside Shaun of the Dead in terms of quality. All of the ‘how to survive a zombie infestation’ clichés are there, and somehow they have managed to make a very funny film in a genre (spoofs) that is itself infested with mediocrity.
If you love zombie films and are familiar with the ‘rules’ of survival, then you’ll like this. And yes, sometimes only a Twinkie can hit the spot!
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Director: Victor Fleming
Release Date: 25 August 1939
Main Cast:
Judy Garland … Dorothy Gale
Ray Bolger … Hunk / The Scarecrow
Bert Lahr … Zeke / The Cowardly Lion
Jack Haley … Hickory / The Tin Man
Margaret Hamilton … Almira Gulch / The Wicked Witch of the West / The Wicked Witch of the East
Terry … Toto ¦¬D (every dog has his day!)
First of all, why are you reading a review? Surely you’ve seen this by now! And if not, then go and get a copy and sit back with a tasty box of chocolates and enjoy. 
Here in the UK, this was always shown at Christmas – that’s where the chocolates come in (specifically Black Magic) – and watching it was a tradition in my house! It triggers all kinds of memories and senses for me, and I never grow tired of it. Even my old-film-and-musicals hating husband has a soft spot for it (he’s never watched The Sound of Music, so that should tell you that this is good!)
A genuine timeless classic. A masterpiece. An absolute joy! The flying monkeys still creep me out a bit though – they’re just plain scary looking 
Rating:
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Director: Leslie H. Martinson
Release Date: 16 December 1966
Tagline: He’s here, big as life, in a real Bat-Epic.
Main Cast:
Adam West … Bruce Wayne / Batman
Burt Ward … Dick Grayson / Robin
Lee Meriwether … Miss Kitka / Catwoman
Burgess Meredith … The Penguin
Cesar Romero … The Joker
Frank Gorshin … The Riddler
I love the dark and moody Batman. I also love the comic and camp Batman of the 1960s tv show, and this is chock full of camp ‘kerpows’ and Holy whatsits!
All the actors have a wonderful sense of comic timing, and I defy anyone to say that they don’t have a big grin when watching this (apart from the anal retentive soap dodgers who still live at home when they’re 40).
There are so many fantastic lines for all the characters, and they just keep on going the whole way through. Here are some of my favourites:-
[Batman and Robin are running to the United World Building]
Robin: Holy marathon! I’m getting a stitch, Batman!
Batman: Let’s hope that it’s a stitch in time, Robin, that saves nine – The nine members of the United World Security Council. Come on.
———-
Batman: [reading a riddle] What has yellow skin and writes?
Robin: A ball-point banana!
Batman: [reads the second riddle] What people are always in a hurry?
Robin: Rushing people… Russians!
Batman: So this means…
Robin: Someone Russian is going to slip on a banana and break their neck!
Batman: Precisely, Robin!
———-
Vice Admiral Fangschliester: – to some chap named “P. N. Guin”.
Batman: P. N. Guin…
Robin: Penguin!
———-
Holy review, Batman! It’s fabulous!
Rating:
Certificate:
Director: Karyn Kusama
Release Date: 4 November 2009
Tagline: She’s evil… and not just high school evil.
Main Cast:
Megan Fox … Jennifer
Amanda Seyfried … Needy
Johnny Simmons … Chip
Jennifer’s Body is a surprisingly entertaining black humour with American teenagers as the central characters (that’s why it’s surprisingly entertaining!) Basically, high school ‘Miss Popular’ Jennifer gets more than she bargained for when she got in a van with a rock band.
I have a slight niggle with the fact that she was supposed to be a succubus. Succubi don’t tear men’s throats out to draw energy, they shag them until they can take no more. However, I’d far rather watch the throat tearing, so I’ll not worry about that too much.
If you’ve seen Ginger Snaps and liked it, then you’ll like this. If you haven’t seen it – why not, it’s great?
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Directors: Neill Blomkamp and Simon Hansen
Release Date: 4 September 2009
Tagline: You are not welcome here.
Main Cast:
Sharlto Copley … Wikus Van De Merwe
Jason Cope … Grey Bradnam – UKNR Chief Correspondent
I heard good things about this film, but wondered why at the start. It all seemed a bit silly and ridiculous, but when it gets going it’s really, really good. Easily one of the best sci-fi films in recent years.
There’s really only one thing I can say.
I saw the Prawns, and the Prawns were good.
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Director: Glenn Standring
Release Date: 16 August 2007
Tagline: Humans and vampires have lived in harmony… Until now.
Main Cast:
Dougray Scott … Brother Silas
Saffron Burrows … Lily
Leo Gregory … Brother Edgar
This should have been ‘right up my street’, but it wasn’t. It’s very visually stunning with clever use of colour, but the look of the film is its best quality. For some reason I found that it couldn’t hold my attention. It has a strange and completely bereft of emotion love story element and in some cases is just plain pretentious. I also found the mix of Dickensian times and the 1960s somewhat silly.
I really should have liked this, and it’s a shame that I didn’t.
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