Certificate:

Directors: Michael Spierig & Peter Spierig

Release Date: 6 January 2010

Tagline: In 2019, the most precious natural resource… Is us.

Main Cast:

Ethan Hawke … Edward Dalton

Willem Dafoe … Lionel ‘Elvis’ Cormac

Sam Neill … Charles Bromley

Another good vampire film! First we had 30 Days of Night, and then Let The Right One In. Daybreakers has a very good look and feel (Edward Dalton reminded me of Constantine – a moody, chain-smoking antihero) and it drew me in very quickly. It has just the right level of gore and humour to balance it out, and despite its grim setting it never slips over the line into pretentiousness.

I liked the story and thought that it brought something new to the genre, which is quite hard to do as we all know the ‘rules’ concerning vampires (as ludicrous as that sounds!)

Yes, there was a formulaic side to it, but it was done so well that I didn’t mind. I’d be more than happy to watch it again.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Directors: George Lucas, Irvin Kershner, Richard Marquand

Release Date: 1977, 1980, 1983

Main Cast:

Mark Hamill … Luke Skywalker

Harrison Ford … Han Solo

Carrie Fisher … Princess Leia Organa

David Prowse and James Earl Jones (voice) … Darth Vader

There’s no point in reviewing these separately. Star Wars is my religion, and George Lucas is my God! If you haven’t already seen these (and if not – why not?) then there’s something wrong with you.

I will say, though, that please, please watch the original versions and not the special editions. George Lucas may think that he made changes for the better, but he didn’t. If only he realised that you can’t improve on perfection.

Star Wars changed cinema. It also changed lives.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

P.S.  Han shoots first.

Certificate:

Director: David Slade

Release Date: 16 June 2006

Tagline: Strangers shouldn’t talk to little girls.

Main Cast:

Patrick Wilson … Jeff Kohlver

Ellen Page … Hayley Stark

I can suspend disbelief, and I can just about cope with a plot hole (as long as it’s not a major one).  But these conditions apply only to otherwise great films. Hard Candy, however, is not a great film.

It’s totally unbelievable and ridiculous. If you couldn’t give a monkey’s toss about realism, then you might enjoy this. It feels like it wants to be intelligent torture porn, but the reality is that it is neither. Having said that though, I felt a bit tortured watching it.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Director: Tim Burton

Release Date: 5 March 2010

Tagline: You’re invited to a very important date.

Main Cast:

Johnny Depp … Mad Hatter

Mia Wasikowska … Alice

Helena Bonham Carter … Red Queen

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are a marriage made in heaven. With Tim Burton you are sure to get a visual delight and a cinematic experience that is unique to him. It would also be rather remiss of me to neglect to mention Danny Elfman, whose talent makes up  a fantastic trio.

It’s magical, fantastical, and utterly delightful! I also really enjoyed Helena Bonham Carter’s performance, although it’s rather disconcerting to see her head on a small body!

I never really liked AIW as a child (I didn’t like the Chronicles of Narnia either), so, for me, this was not as enjoyable as Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (I love Roald Dahl). In that respect, I can’t really do a total review as I do not know the books. Perhaps an AIW devotee may not like this.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Directors: Pete Docter & Bob Peterson (co-director)

Release Date: 9 October 2009

Main Cast: (Voice)

Ed Asner … Carl Fredricksen

Jordan Nagai … Russell

Christopher Plummer … Charles Muntz

I don’t know how Pixar do it, but they have raised the bar again with this glorious film.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried. Three times, in fact (and twice during the first twenty minutes or so!) Watching Carl’s life unfold is both joyous and heartbreaking. And then, along comes Russell to cheer us all up!

I could write for hours about what makes Up such a work of pure genius, but I won’t. You need to discover it for yourself.

Please, please do not miss this film!

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Director: Oren Peli

Release Date: 25 November 2009

Tagline: What happens when you sleep?

Main Cast:

Katie Featherston … Katie

Micah Sloat … Micah

I was looking forward to watching this as I love suspense films. I sat there waiting for something happen, and I waited, and waited then there was an ok bit, and then I waited some more and then it ended.

The whole thing is ludicrous and very, very boring. There are so many instances of why didn’t they do this or that (the major one being not turning the lights on) that you just end up getting frustrated at the characters.

Basically, what happens is this:-

Boy follows girl with a camcorder.

We watch them sleep.

Loud noises wake them up, boy runs around with the camcorder.

And so on.

What happens when you sleep? Not much, going by this! If this scares you, then I recommend that you watch Finding Nemo. The ‘mild peril’ element will have you quaking in your boots.

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Release Date: 7 October 2009

Tagline: This place is so dead.

Main Cast:

Jesse Eisenberg … Columbus

Woody Harrelson … Tallahassee

Emma Stone … Wichita

Abigail Breslin … Little Rock

Zombieland is a very good spoof of zombie films, and sits quite happily alongside Shaun of the Dead in terms of quality. All of the ‘how to survive a zombie infestation’ clichés are there, and somehow they have managed to make a very funny film in a genre (spoofs) that is itself infested with mediocrity.

If you love zombie films and are familiar with the ‘rules’ of survival, then you’ll like this. And yes, sometimes only a Twinkie can hit the spot!

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Director: Victor Fleming

Release Date: 25 August 1939

Main Cast:

Judy Garland … Dorothy Gale

Ray Bolger … Hunk / The Scarecrow

Bert Lahr … Zeke / The Cowardly Lion

Jack Haley … Hickory / The Tin Man

Margaret Hamilton … Almira Gulch / The Wicked Witch of the West / The Wicked Witch of the East

Terry … Toto ¦¬D (every dog has his day!)

First of all, why are you reading a review? Surely you’ve seen this by now! And if not, then go and get a copy and sit back with a tasty box of chocolates and enjoy.

Here in the UK, this was always shown at Christmas – that’s where the chocolates come in (specifically Black Magic) – and watching it was a tradition in my house! It triggers all kinds of memories and senses for me, and I never grow tired of it. Even my old-film-and-musicals hating husband has a soft spot for it (he’s never watched The Sound of Music, so that should tell you that this is good!)

A genuine timeless classic. A masterpiece. An absolute joy! The flying monkeys still creep me out a bit though – they’re just plain scary looking

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Director: Leslie H. Martinson

Release Date: 16 December 1966

Tagline: He’s here, big as life, in a real Bat-Epic.

Main Cast:

Adam West … Bruce Wayne / Batman

Burt Ward … Dick Grayson / Robin

Lee Meriwether … Miss Kitka / Catwoman

Burgess Meredith … The Penguin

Cesar Romero … The Joker

Frank Gorshin … The Riddler

I love the dark and moody Batman. I also love the comic and camp Batman of the 1960s tv show, and this is chock full of camp ‘kerpows’ and Holy whatsits!

All the actors have a wonderful sense of comic timing, and I defy anyone to say that they don’t have a big grin when watching this (apart from the anal retentive soap dodgers who still live at home when they’re 40).

There are so many fantastic lines for all the characters, and they just keep on going the whole way through. Here are some of my favourites:-

[Batman and Robin are running to the United World Building]
Robin: Holy marathon! I’m getting a stitch, Batman!
Batman: Let’s hope that it’s a stitch in time, Robin, that saves nine – The nine members of the United World Security Council. Come on.

———-

Batman: [reading a riddle] What has yellow skin and writes?
Robin: A ball-point banana!
Batman: [reads the second riddle] What people are always in a hurry?
Robin: Rushing people… Russians!
Batman: So this means…
Robin: Someone Russian is going to slip on a banana and break their neck!
Batman: Precisely, Robin!

———-

Vice Admiral Fangschliester: – to some chap named “P. N. Guin”.
Batman: P. N. Guin…
Robin: Penguin!

———-

Holy review, Batman! It’s fabulous!

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Director: Karyn Kusama

Release Date: 4 November 2009

Tagline: She’s evil… and not just high school evil.

Main Cast:

Megan Fox … Jennifer

Amanda Seyfried … Needy

Johnny Simmons … Chip

Jennifer’s Body is a surprisingly entertaining black humour with American teenagers as the central characters (that’s why it’s surprisingly entertaining!)  Basically, high school ‘Miss Popular’ Jennifer gets more than she bargained for when she got in a van with a rock band.

I have a slight niggle with the fact that she was supposed to be a succubus. Succubi don’t tear men’s throats out to draw energy, they shag them until they can take no more. However, I’d far rather watch the throat tearing, so I’ll not worry about that too much.

If you’ve seen Ginger Snaps and liked it, then you’ll like this. If you haven’t seen it – why not, it’s great?

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars