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Certificate: 
Director: Alexandre Aja
Release Date: 10 March 2006
Tagline: The lucky ones die first.
Main Cast:
Aaron Stanford … Doug Bukowski
Kathleen Quinlan … Ethel Carter
Vinessa Shaw … Lynn Carter
Emilie de Ravin … Brenda Carter
Dan Byrd … Bobby Carter
I don’t usually like remakes of classic films (I can’t see the point and they are almost without exception, inferior), but I really liked this one! It also makes a change to see a horror remake retain its C18 status and not watered down to get the teenage audience (C15).
As is the norm with horror films of this type the plot is very basic (no time should be wasted before getting down to the nitty gritty of torturing and axing people to death!). A family are going on a caravan trip and are crossing the rather barren countryside of New Mexico. Needless to say, they have to stop at one of those run down petrol ’stations’ in the middle of nowhere* where they come across a creepy man who recommends a short cut…
THHE is very, very brutal, gory and disturbing. The scene in the caravan with the three women and the baby is deeply unpleasant and quite difficult to watch.
Great stuff!
Rating: 
* I swear, if I ever find myself travelling across America, I’ll never stop to fill up at one of these places as they all seem to house deranged murderers!
Certificate:
Director: John Carpenter
Release Date: 25 October 1978
Tagline: The Night HE Came Home!
Main Cast:
Donald Pleasence … Dr Sam Loomis
Jamie Lee Curtis … Laurie Strode
Nancy Kyes … Annie Brackett (as Nancy Loomis)
P.J. Soles … Lynda van der Klok
Ah… The quintessential horror film and, arguably, the daddy of all stalk & slash movies (see my review of Black Christmas for a comparison between these two films).
Halloween is a masterclass in how to make a truly scary horror. It’s power comes not only from the increasing tension but also from the score (I only need to hear the first few bars and I get the chills!) It’s not a gruesome film (barely a drop of blood is spilled) but this just makes it even better. There’s an eerieness about the whole thing. The streets and houses seem to be largely empty and this adds to the feeling of isolation and helplessness that Laurie finds herself in.
If you were to watch it for the first time now, you may be tempted to think of it as rather clichéd. Please bear in mind though that the modern clichés come from somewhere, and that somewhere includes Halloween.
For the ultimate experience make sure you watch it alone on Halloween night with the lights turned off. It just can’t be beaten!
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Certificate: 
Originally rated
Director: Richard Donner
Release Date: 25 June 1976
Tagline: It is the greatest mystery of all because no human being will ever solve it.
Main Cast:
Robert Thorn … Gregory Peck
Lee Remick … Katherine Thorn
Billie Whitelaw … Mrs Baylock
Harvey Stephens … Damien
A true cinematic classic. It’s one of those rare instances when the film is just as good as the book. Even after all these years and several viewings it still has the power to create a real feeling of unease. The scenes at Windsor Safari Park are especially powerful, as the young Damien is taking delight in seeing the animals, but they are somewhat less than delighted to see him, much to his very real disappointment.
It’s this depiction of innocence together with demonic undertones that makes it a very powerful film. This is going to be one of the more ridiculous sounding sentences that I’ve ever written, but here goes! Damien is not aware that he is the Antichrist, and come the ending where his ‘father’ has to murder him, you can’t help but feel for him.
The Omen is a masterpiece, and should be seen by all!
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Director: Frank LaLoggia
Release Date: 16 June 1989
Tagline: The year is 1962. The place is Willowpoint Falls. Nobody talks about what happened in the school cloakroom 10 years ago. Now, in the dead of night, Frankie Scarlatti is going to find out why.
Main Cast:
Lukas Haas … Frankie Scarlatti
Len Cariou … Phil Terragarossa
Alex Rocco … Angelo ‘Al’ Scarlatti
It’s hard to pigeonhole this film. It’s mostly a thriller, but the ghost story part of it gives it an element of horror, which I really liked. Lukas Haas gives a very good performance and easily carries the film. It’s a very good story and is at times genuinely creepy (I like creepy films – they’re always the best horrors).
It starts off a bit slow, and you’re not quite sure if you are watching the film that was described, but stay with it as it picks up the pace and quickly becomes very engaging.
Lady in White is not a brilliant film as far as thrillers and horrors go, but it is well worth a look.
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Director: Christophe Gans
Release Date: 21 April 2006
Tagline: Enjoy your stay.
Main Cast:
Radha Mitchell … Rose Da Silva
Sean Bean … Christopher Da Silva
Laurie Holden … Cybil Bennett
Jodelle Ferland … Sharon / Alessa
Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. What an unmitigated pile of drivel this is. It’s an absolute mess of confusing plot which is full of holes, appalling dialogue, atrocious acting and the most utterly ridiculous and pretentious ending you are ever likely to see. It’s also far too long (about 2 hours too long, I’d say).
It ‘borrows’ highly from Asian horror styling (the traditional ‘ghost girls’ as seen in Ringu and The Grudge), Don’t Look Now and cheesey horrors from the 1980s (there’s a scene with the barbed wire that is very reminiscent of the ‘tree rape’ scene from The Evil Dead . The difference here being that the latter was a humorous film).
The main character spends the first half of the film (maybe even more) just running around shouting “Sharon!”. It would have been far better if they had Ozzy Osbourne in the main role ;-D
What the hell was Sean Bean doing in it? Could they not find a mediocre American actor to play the part rather than a mediocre British man? His accent swings from terrible American, to Yorkshire and even, at times, Irish.
On the plus side, the visuals are very atmospheric and the special effects are pretty good. It is for these reasons that it gets more than 0 stars from me. Oh, and there’s the part when all the zombies or whatever they were started shuffling in a little group and I thought the soundtrack was going to break into Michael Jackson’s Thriller…
Silent Hill is yet more proof that video games should never, ever be made into movies.
Rating: 
Certificate:
Director: Juan Antonio Bayona
Release Date: 21 March 2008
Tagline: A tale of love. A story of horror.
Main Cast:
Belén Ruader … Laura
Fernando Cayo … Carlos
Roger Príncep … Simón
What a masterpiece! I was totally blown away by it. I was expecting it to be good, but it surpassed all expectations. I am going to give absolutely nothing away other than it’s the finest ghost story I’ve ever seen (closely follwed by The Others) and you owe it to yourself to see it. Whist I’ve included it in the ‘horror’ category, if you don’t like horror films then don’t let that put you off. There’s a lot of unease and it’s very creepy, but it’s such a thrill!
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Director: Chan-wook Park
Release Date: 10 February 2006
Tagline: All she wanted was a peaceful life… they didn’t give it.
Main Cast:
Yeong-ae Lee … Geum-ja Lee
Min-sik Choi … Mr Baek
I’m a big fan of Asian horror so was hoping for another treat with this. However, I was somewhat disappointed. Whilst many Asian films can be rather confusing at the start, this one remained confusing for the first half or so. It’s not until you understand what’s happened that you can back track and piece it all together. Now, I don’t need everything set out on a plate for me, but I just wasn’t getting any sense of where it was going which resulted in a steadily increasing lack of interest.
Anyway, I found SFLV rather slow and plodding and with no real satisfaction at the end. I know that many people will probably disagree with this review, but this is easily the most boring Asian horror that I’ve seen.
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Certificate: (original rating: X)
Director: Stanley Kubrick
Release Date: 23 May 1980
Tagline: A masterpiece of modern horror.
Main Cast:
Jack Nicholson … Jack Torrance
Shelley Duvall … Wendy Torrance
Danny Lloyd … Danny Torrance
Scatman Crothers … Dick Hallorann
The Shining is a perfect example of what makes a horror film great, and is one of my all time favourite films. Films just don’t get better than this. It’s also one of those rare times where I prefer the film to the book. The film is a perfect example of increasing tension and this is something that you just can’t experience with a book. I also like the changes that Kubrick made, especially the ending.
There has long been a debate about who ’shines’ and who doesn’t. I have my own opinion on this, and I hope you get as much fun as I did trying to work it out. There’s one other thing that I’d like to mention, but I can’t as it gives away the very end!
Finally, if you’ve ever wondered what happened to Danny Lloyd you may be interested to know that he became a science teacher.
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Directors: Oxide Pang Chun & Danny Pang
Release Date: 27 September 2002
Main Cast:
Angelica Lee … Wong Kar Mun
Lawrence Chou … Dr. Wah
I’ve removed the tagline for the film from this review, because it’s a spoiler for one of the most powerful ‘reveals’ of the film, and I don’t want to ruin things for you!
I won’t go into too much detail, because it’s the kind of film that you just need to watch without reading too much about it first (as is the way with so many Asian horror films).
It is a story of a blind woman who has a cornea transplant, and ends up seeing more than she bargained for. As it goes along, it gets creepier and the tension builds very well. Then it switches from being a traditional horror/ghost story into a story of personal tragedy and is very moving. The ending is fantastic and, I have to say, I never saw it coming!
Gin Gwai is a very well made and atmospheric film that will have more than enough little twists, turns and frights to keep you watching.
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Director: Paul W. S. Anderson
Release Date: 22 October 2004
Tagline: Whoever wins… We lose.
Main Cast:
Sanaa Lathan … Alexa Woods
Raoul Bova … Sebastian de Rosa
Lance Henriksen … Charles Bishop Weyland
Oh dear. What an absolute pile of drivel this is. AVP is a shameful vehicle made purely to cash in on the fantastic Alien films and the also popular Predator. The acting is poor to say the least, and the characters are totally uninteresing stereotypes. There’s the heroine, the hero, the nerd, the butch female (butch but not gay, as is quickly pointed out to us lest we be horrified and tempted to switch off) etc, etc. You get the picture, I’m sure.
Considering the ancient temple that the film is set in (the very first civilisation, supposedly), the nerd and the hero are experts at translating the script on the temple walls. We need two characters to be ‘experts’, as they get split up and one gets wiped out fairly quickly, otherwise there would be no one to explain the plot to us. There’s even a very complex looking puzzle that Mr. Hero manages to solve in the blink of an eye.
The dialogue is some of the most corny and clichéd that I’ve ever heard, and they sure do pack ‘em in! It’s embarrassing, really.
There is also absolutely no tension whatsoever. It’s just a playground brawl between the two alien species – we don’t care in the slightest who wins. The human characters are so unlikeable that you’ll find yourself relieved when they get killed. And the teaming up of our heroine with one of the predators is ridiculous beyond belief.
There were two elements, however, that I did like. The sacrificial chamber with the alien eggs was a nice idea, and I liked how the temple kept changing to juice up the battlefield (although this reminded me of the excellent Cube).
Truly one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. Be afraid… Be very afraid.
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