Certificate:

Director: Mike Hodges

Release Date: 5 December 1980

Tagline: He’ll save every one of us!

Main Cast:

Sam J. Jones … Flash Gordon

Melody Anderson … Dale Arden

Max von Sydow … The Emperor Ming

Bloody wonderful. If you were born in the 1970s and loved sci-fi, then you *have* to not only watch, but will also love this. In actual fact who wouldn’t love this? You’d have to be bereft of all sense of imagination and joy to dislike Flash Gordon. Unmissable to my generation (I was born in 1971), but perhaps not to others.

It’s my review and therefore gets five stars and a rating of unmissable!

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Director: Steven Spielberg

Release Date: 22 May 2008

Tagline: The adventure continues . . .

Main Cast:

Henry ‘Indiana’ Jones … Harrison Ford

Cate Blanchett … Irina Spalko

Shia LaBeouf … Mutt Williams

Awful, awful, awful. Harrison Ford is too old for this type of roll. He was embarrassingly bad in the first part of this, and only seemed to show any real enthusiasm about two thirds in. It’s full of the same old Indiana Jones clichés – I don’t think that they even tried to inject anything new into it. Why bother when it will put bums on seats with little to no effort? What on Earth was Cate Blanchett thinking when she took this role?

The lack of imagination in the above tagline says it all. This is a tired franchise that should have been laid to rest by now. Let’s hope they don’t dig it up again.

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

P.S. I don’t know what it was really made of, but does anyone else think that the ‘crystal skull’ looked like plastic with some scrunched up cling film in it?

Certificate:

Director: Mark Waters

Release Date: 21 March 2008

Tagline: Their world is closer than you think.

Main Cast:

Freddie Highmore … Jared Grace / Simon Grace

Mary Louise Parker … Mary-Louise Parker

Nick Nolte … Mulgarath

I really enjoyed this. It’s very engaging from the start and Freddie Highmore does a good job playing both of the main characters. Whilst not suitable for very young children, older ones, both boys and girls, will enjoy it as it’s neither ‘girly’ or ‘boyish’.

All in all, a very good film which will be enjoyed by most people, especially fantasy fans.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Directors: George Lucas, Irvin Kershner, Richard Marquand

Release Date: 1977, 1980, 1983

Main Cast:

Mark Hamill … Luke Skywalker

Harrison Ford … Han Solo

Carrie Fisher … Princess Leia Organa

David Prowse and James Earl Jones (voice) … Darth Vader

There’s no point in reviewing these separately. Star Wars is my religion, and George Lucas is my God! If you haven’t already seen these (and if not – why not?) then there’s something wrong with you.

I will say, though, that please, please watch the original versions and not the special editions. George Lucas may think that he made changes for the better, but he didn’t. If only he realised that you can’t improve on perfection.

Star Wars changed cinema. It also changed lives.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

P.S.  Han shoots first.

Certificate:

Director: Tim Burton

Release Date: 5 March 2010

Tagline: You’re invited to a very important date.

Main Cast:

Johnny Depp … Mad Hatter

Mia Wasikowska … Alice

Helena Bonham Carter … Red Queen

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are a marriage made in heaven. With Tim Burton you are sure to get a visual delight and a cinematic experience that is unique to him. It would also be rather remiss of me to neglect to mention Danny Elfman, whose talent makes up  a fantastic trio.

It’s magical, fantastical, and utterly delightful! I also really enjoyed Helena Bonham Carter’s performance, although it’s rather disconcerting to see her head on a small body!

I never really liked AIW as a child (I didn’t like the Chronicles of Narnia either), so, for me, this was not as enjoyable as Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (I love Roald Dahl). In that respect, I can’t really do a total review as I do not know the books. Perhaps an AIW devotee may not like this.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Directors: Pete Docter & Bob Peterson (co-director)

Release Date: 9 October 2009

Main Cast: (Voice)

Ed Asner … Carl Fredricksen

Jordan Nagai … Russell

Christopher Plummer … Charles Muntz

I don’t know how Pixar do it, but they have raised the bar again with this glorious film.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried. Three times, in fact (and twice during the first twenty minutes or so!) Watching Carl’s life unfold is both joyous and heartbreaking. And then, along comes Russell to cheer us all up!

I could write for hours about what makes Up such a work of pure genius, but I won’t. You need to discover it for yourself.

Please, please do not miss this film!

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Director: Victor Fleming

Release Date: 25 August 1939

Main Cast:

Judy Garland … Dorothy Gale

Ray Bolger … Hunk / The Scarecrow

Bert Lahr … Zeke / The Cowardly Lion

Jack Haley … Hickory / The Tin Man

Margaret Hamilton … Almira Gulch / The Wicked Witch of the West / The Wicked Witch of the East

Terry … Toto ¦¬D (every dog has his day!)

First of all, why are you reading a review? Surely you’ve seen this by now! And if not, then go and get a copy and sit back with a tasty box of chocolates and enjoy.

Here in the UK, this was always shown at Christmas – that’s where the chocolates come in (specifically Black Magic) – and watching it was a tradition in my house! It triggers all kinds of memories and senses for me, and I never grow tired of it. Even my old-film-and-musicals hating husband has a soft spot for it (he’s never watched The Sound of Music, so that should tell you that this is good!)

A genuine timeless classic. A masterpiece. An absolute joy! The flying monkeys still creep me out a bit though – they’re just plain scary looking

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Director: Leslie H. Martinson

Release Date: 16 December 1966

Tagline: He’s here, big as life, in a real Bat-Epic.

Main Cast:

Adam West … Bruce Wayne / Batman

Burt Ward … Dick Grayson / Robin

Lee Meriwether … Miss Kitka / Catwoman

Burgess Meredith … The Penguin

Cesar Romero … The Joker

Frank Gorshin … The Riddler

I love the dark and moody Batman. I also love the comic and camp Batman of the 1960s tv show, and this is chock full of camp ‘kerpows’ and Holy whatsits!

All the actors have a wonderful sense of comic timing, and I defy anyone to say that they don’t have a big grin when watching this (apart from the anal retentive soap dodgers who still live at home when they’re 40).

There are so many fantastic lines for all the characters, and they just keep on going the whole way through. Here are some of my favourites:-

[Batman and Robin are running to the United World Building]
Robin: Holy marathon! I’m getting a stitch, Batman!
Batman: Let’s hope that it’s a stitch in time, Robin, that saves nine – The nine members of the United World Security Council. Come on.

———-

Batman: [reading a riddle] What has yellow skin and writes?
Robin: A ball-point banana!
Batman: [reads the second riddle] What people are always in a hurry?
Robin: Rushing people… Russians!
Batman: So this means…
Robin: Someone Russian is going to slip on a banana and break their neck!
Batman: Precisely, Robin!

———-

Vice Admiral Fangschliester: – to some chap named “P. N. Guin”.
Batman: P. N. Guin…
Robin: Penguin!

———-

Holy review, Batman! It’s fabulous!

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Certificate:

Director: James Cameron

Release Date: 17 October 2009

Tagline: Enter the world.

Main Cast:

Sam Worthington … Jake Sully

Zoe Saldana … Neytiri

Sigourney Weaver … Dr. Grace Augustine

Stephen Lang … Colonel Miles Quaritch

3D cinema – fancy gimmick or pleasurable enhancement? Both, actually. In the fantasy sections of the film it works very well, but in the run-of-the-mill scenes it’s pointless and somewhat distracting. So, all in all, 3D is something that, with the right film, could be fantastic.

So, on to the film itself. Cheesy, clichéd and over long, Avatar would not have been the massive success that it was if it was merely a 2D film. The plot and the dialogue are dreadful, and it’s obvious that Cameron was not in the least bit concerned about making a good film, which is a shame as it is certainly visually stunning. I believe that special effects should help tell the story and not be the only attraction and, sadly, Avatar is a film without a soul. Take Titanic – love it or hate it, Cameron had the sets built to perfection. To see that wonderful ship come to life was an absolute joy, and you were completely immersed (no pun intended) in the experience. With Avatar, I found myself constantly aware of the 3D visuals and just couldn’t engage fully with the film.

Having said all that, I appreciate that Avatar is the first genuine 3D film (as opposed to the ones that have 3D versions with a few things that poke out of the screen at you) and, as such, I applaud it. Was it worth paying good money to see? Yes, it was. Do I think 3D is the future? No, I don’t.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars (film only)

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars (overall experience)

Certificate:

Directors: John Lasseter and Joe Ranft (co-director)

Release Date: 28 July 2006

Tagline: Ahhh… It’s got that new movie smell.

Main Cast: (voice)

Owen Wilson … Lightning McQueen

Paul Newman … Doc Hudson

Bonnie Hunt … Sally Carrera

Larry The Cable Guy … Mater

I have no clue why this received lukewarm reviews on release as it’s a very charming, funny and engaging film. How the animators managed to get so much character into cars I’ll never know. Humans and animals are easy to inject with emotion, but Pixar are proving to be exceptional at showing emotions on just about anything that they can put eyes on!

The film opens with a thundering race scene and the high octane thrills are fantastic, but its real joy is in the gentle and close knit town in which Lightning McQueen finds himself.

My favourite character has to be Mater, and my favourite scene is when he takes Lightning ‘cow’ tipping. Pure genius!

Cars is a visually stunning gem of a film. What more could you ask for?

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars