Shutter Island

Certificate: Certificate 15

Director: Martin Scorsese

Release Date: 12 March 2010

Tagline: Someone is missing.

Main Cast:

Leonardo DiCaprio … Teddy Daniels

Mark Ruffalo … Chuck Aule

Ben Kingsley … Dr. John Cawley

Max von Sydow … Dr. Jeremiah Naehring

U.S. Marshal Teddy Daniels is investigating the disappearance of a murderess who has escaped from a hospital for the criminally insane and is presumed to be hiding on the remote Shutter Island.

I really liked this. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you anything more about it, because it’s just ones of those films that you have to sit and watch for yourself. It’s worth your time though, as it’s easily one of the best films of 2010.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Gattaca

Certificate: Certificate 15

Director: Andrew Niccol

Release Date: 20 March 1998

Tagline: There is no gene for the human spirit.

Main Cast:

Ethan Hawke … Vincent Freeman

Uma Thurman … Irene Cassini

Jude Law … Jerome Eugene Morrow

Many sci-fi films portray the future as a bleak place where humanity is in decline and/or some kind of place that is post apocalyptic and lawless. Gattaca is the exact opposite.

Instead of bleak hopelessness, we are given a future where we have refined genetic engineering, and perfect human specimens can be born. Those, however, who have been conceived and born naturally are deemed to be of a lower class, and therefore only suitable for menial work.

Vincent Freeman is a ‘faith born’. Genetically inferior and predicted to have many and severe health problems, Vincent has no chance of fulfilling his ambitions; at least not as himself. He takes on the identity of Jerome Morrow, genetically perfect but paralysed as a result of a car crash, to realise his potential, but he must pass rigorous and frequent tests to prove his genetic suitability.

On the surface, genetically engineered humans may seem like a good idea but wouldn’t we be creating elitism and damning natural borns into the bowels of society? Perhaps Gattaca is not the exact opposite after all.

I think that this was perhaps one of those films that seemed to pass by without too much notice but will find its audience in due time. Slick, subtle and with a strange feeling of clinical calmness, Gattaca is a very, very good film.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Daybreakers

Certificate: Certificate 15

Directors: Michael Spierig & Peter Spierig

Release Date: 6 January 2010

Tagline: In 2019, the most precious natural resource… Is us.

Main Cast:

Ethan Hawke … Edward Dalton

Willem Dafoe … Lionel ‘Elvis’ Cormac

Sam Neill … Charles Bromley

Another good vampire film! First we had 30 Days of Night, and then Let The Right One In. Daybreakers has a very good look and feel (Edward Dalton reminded me of Constantine – a moody, chain-smoking antihero) and it drew me in very quickly. It has just the right level of gore and humour to balance it out, and despite its grim setting it never slips over the line into pretentiousness.

I liked the story and thought that it brought something new to the genre, which is quite hard to do as we all know the ‘rules’ concerning vampires (as ludicrous as that sounds!)

Yes, there was a formulaic side to it, but it was done so well that I didn’t mind. I’d be more than happy to watch it again.

Rating: ★★★½☆

Paranormal Activity

Certificate: Certificate 15

Director: Oren Peli

Release Date: 25 November 2009

Tagline: What happens when you sleep?

Main Cast:

Katie Featherston … Katie

Micah Sloat … Micah

I was looking forward to watching this as I love suspense films. I sat there waiting for something happen, and I waited, and waited then there was an ok bit, and then I waited some more and then it ended.

The whole thing is ludicrous and very, very boring. There are so many instances of why didn’t they do this or that (the major one being not turning the lights on) that you just end up getting frustrated at the characters.

Basically, what happens is this:-

Boy follows girl with a camcorder.

We watch them sleep.

Loud noises wake them up, boy runs around with the camcorder.

And so on.

What happens when you sleep? Not much, going by this! If this scares you, then I recommend that you watch Finding Nemo. The ‘mild peril’ element will have you quaking in your boots.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Zombieland

Certificate: Certificate 15

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Release Date: 7 October 2009

Tagline: This place is so dead.

Main Cast:

Jesse Eisenberg … Columbus

Woody Harrelson … Tallahassee

Emma Stone … Wichita

Abigail Breslin … Little Rock

Zombieland is a very good spoof of zombie films, and sits quite happily alongside Shaun of the Dead in terms of quality. All of the ‘how to survive a zombie infestation’ clichés are there, and somehow they have managed to make a very funny film in a genre (spoofs) that is itself infested with mediocrity.

If you love zombie films and are familiar with the ‘rules’ of survival, then you’ll like this. And yes, sometimes only a Twinkie can hit the spot!

Rating: ★★★★☆

Jennifer's Body

Certificate: Certificate 15

Director: Karyn Kusama

Release Date: 4 November 2009

Tagline: She’s evil… and not just high school evil.

Main Cast:

Megan Fox … Jennifer

Amanda Seyfried … Needy

Johnny Simmons … Chip

Jennifer’s Body is a surprisingly entertaining black humour with American teenagers as the central characters (that’s why it’s surprisingly entertaining!)  Basically, high school ‘Miss Popular’ Jennifer gets more than she bargained for when she got in a van with a rock band.

I have a slight niggle with the fact that she was supposed to be a succubus. Succubi don’t tear men’s throats out to draw energy, they shag them until they can take no more. However, I’d far rather watch the throat tearing, so I’ll not worry about that too much.

If you’ve seen Ginger Snaps and liked it, then you’ll like this. If you haven’t seen it – why not, it’s great?

Rating: ★★★½☆

District 9

Certificate: Certificate 15

Directors: Neill Blomkamp and Simon Hansen

Release Date: 4 September 2009

Tagline: You are not welcome here.

Main Cast:

Sharlto Copley … Wikus Van De Merwe

Jason Cope … Grey Bradnam – UKNR Chief Correspondent

I heard good things about this film, but wondered why at the start. It all seemed a bit silly and ridiculous, but when it gets going it’s really, really good. Easily one of the best sci-fi films in recent years.

There’s really only one thing I can say.

I saw the Prawns, and the Prawns were good.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Perfect Creature

Certificate: Certificate 15

Director: Glenn Standring

Release Date: 16 August 2007

Tagline: Humans and vampires have lived in harmony… Until now.

Main Cast:

Dougray Scott … Brother Silas

Saffron Burrows … Lily

Leo Gregory … Brother Edgar

This should have been ‘right up my street’, but it wasn’t. It’s very visually stunning with clever use of colour, but the look of the film is its best quality. For some reason I found that it couldn’t hold my attention. It has a strange and completely bereft of emotion love story element and in some cases is just plain pretentious. I also found the mix of Dickensian times and the 1960s somewhat silly.

I really should have liked this, and it’s a shame that I didn’t.

Rating: ★★½☆☆

The Hangover

Certificate: Certificate 15

Director: Todd Phillips

Release Date: 12 June 2009

Tagline: Some guys just can’t handle Vegas.

Main Cast:

Phil Wenneck … Bradley Cooper

Ed Helms … Stu Price

Zach Galifianakis … Alan Garner

Oh. My. God. I’ve seen some bloody rubbish in my life, and this is right up there with the worst of the worst. It’s supposed to be a madcap screwball comedy, but it’s so shoddily written that there are just no laughs at all. And just when you think that it couldn’t get any worse, Mike Tyson makes an appearance. He’s a very gifted actor, and I think that his true vocation is for stage and screen.

Some of the things that we are supposed to laugh at are actually very offensive, and one ‘joke’ (which is done twice) consists of Zach Galifianakis making a baby do masturbating motions when scantily clad women are around. Is it just me or does that border on paedophilia? I can’t believe that the BBFC let that pass. You are also supposed to laugh at racism, simulated bestiality, prejudice, breast feeding and fat jokes.

We are also continually reminded that Doug is missing. I assume that this is because the people who like this kind of drivel have very poor attention spans.

Unless you are an adolescent boy who finds this kind of rubbish funny, then steer well clear.

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

The Hurt Locker

Certificate: Certificate 15

Director: Kathryn Bigelow

Release Date: 28 August 2009

Tagline: You’ll know when you’re in it.

Main Cast:

Jeremy Renner … SSgt. William James

Anthony Mackie … Sgt. JT Sanborn

Brian Geraghty … Spc. Owen Eldridge

I am at a loss as to why this film has been rated quite highly by film critics. I found it tedious and predictable and I didn’t find one single character in it that I liked and rooted for. Do US soldiers really behave like total twats, or are these characters  just stereotypical for this genre of film.

I will be more than happy if I never see this again.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

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